How do I know it’s OCD?

I think due to the stigma around OCD and a complete lack of knowledge around specific mental health areas, most people seem to think they are “a little OCD”. 

Small quirks are being related to a disorder that is completely debilitating for some people. I think just to put my take out there, being tidy and keeping your house clean is an admirable trait, one that most people proud themselves on. However, if your routine to keep your house clean is something you ENJOY then that will not be considered OCD.  

However, although that will be talked about, I believe it is more important to spread awareness and educate rather than to berate others for their lack of knowledge.

This post in the meantime, relates to those who have been OCD and feel anxiety/doubt around this topic.

When we are in the midst of OCD, we may begin to question our own anxiety and obsess over obsessing. This is also known as Meta-OCD.

Common questions in META-OCD, which I have experienced myself, come up as:

• What if it isn’t OCD and these thoughts mean I am going crazy?
• What if I am just a really bad person and I’m lying to people claiming it is OCD?
• I’ve tried some ERP but it’s not working, that must mean it’s not OCD, right?
• What if my therapist doesn’t believe me, am I really believing my own lies?
  
  

I think questioning whether you “actually have OCD” highlights one of the main hypocrisies that are surprisingly common within the disorder, a question like this, alongside our compulsions, would continue to keep you stuck and frustratingly in the cycle.

The truth is and a statement quoted by many OCD specialists is that “you will never know”.  I know, that is harsh, it’s most definitely not an answer you wanted to hear, it is not an answer which is going to satisfy your dying need to know.

However, it is an answer, that when taken seriously, is going to help you with recovery and dampen those intrusive thoughts over time. The trick to overcoming OCD, is that you need to learn to be okay with uncertainty and as hard as it is, accept we may never know the answer to our undying questions.

Taking a quote from NOCD (a therapist network specialising in the top treatment for OCD) “Remember, just like all the other thoughts, images, and urges OCD has thrown at you, meta OCD works the same way. The more you give these thoughts power, the more they will come around”.

I think one of the hardest lessons to learn is to ignore the alarm going off in your head. To do nothing instead of trying to figure out a thought seems impossible.

Why do we need an answer so urgently?

In my opinion, we need an answer so desperately because we can’t handle things being out of our control. If we don’t know the answer than that means we could be responsible for something bad happening, we are being ‘reckless’ or we are just bad people. If we could figure out how to answer OCD’s questions then we will be okay. 

But what happens when the questions keep coming? What happens when the doubt doesn’t just go away after you have answered one part of the puzzle?

I understand the struggle. I understand how one search online can make you feel just that tiny bit better, how finding articles relating to your struggles may alleviate a bit of that anxiety. But it’s time to try something different.

You will never know if it is OCD with 100% certainty but the quest to finding out it just too tempting. 

I felt stuck in my OCD at many times in my life, I felt like I would keep obsessing over the same thing for years to come and I would be held in misery for ever. 

I now know that is not true. There is help out there, and being in recovery feels liberating.

Let’s beat OCD together.

Leave a comment if you relate to anything that’s been said and I hope we can start a dialogue.